We’ve all read or heard of “The Dark Side of Tricking” article. But now we’re nervous about interacting with girls at sessions and gatherings, oh no! The lesson to be learned is it’s not okay to be intentionally creepy or predatory. What is okay, and absolutely inevitable, is that guys’ social interactions with girls will sometimes be awkward or uncomfortable, and may be interpreted as creepy. After all, we’re all just a bunch of weirdos with great air awareness, no social skills necessary.
From time to time, I’ll come across a dude who just doesn’t feel comfortable interacting with girls. And it’s not because of romantic or sexual feelings—it may just be a new and uncomfortable thing to speak to someone of the opposite sex. I’ve had a few awkward interactions myself in my 15+ years of training, so for all my male homies out there, I’ve put together six general tips to keep in mind during your next interaction with a girl tricker.
1.DON’T JUDGE A BOOK BY ITS COVER.
Anybody can be a tricker. We’re all shaped differently, we have different views of the world, and we gravitate toward certain skill sets. But I know a conversation is about to be draining when someone doesn’t believe I can trick, for as long as I’ve been tricking, with my particular skill set. The question I dread most is, “WeLl wHat TriCkS cAn yOu Do?” It’s an incredibly broad question with an undercurrent of skepticism and disbelief. From my experience, you’re most likely trying to gauge how seriously to take me, and no one wants their character to be judged by their skill set alone.
Instead, try asking about what tricks or concepts I’m working on, or about my favorite tricks/combos to train. You can ask for a recent sampler. We can even have an interactive side session and exchange ideas. There’s always a tip or concept you can pick up from another tricker, regardless of skill. Plus, it’s fun to train with new people!
2. DON’T ASSUME A GIRL IS AT A SESSION/GATHERING ONLY TO WATCH.
I’m treated veryyy differently before and after someone finds out I’m a tricker. Before: silly muggle, smash bait, recruit. After: tricker, equal training partner, genuine interest in me as a person. To be fair, this happens mostly with newer trickers, and it’s funny to see their face change when they find out how long I’ve been in the game.
Instead, just ask, “Hey, are you training later?” For someone newer to tricking sessions and/or gatherings, this question is inviting, and it can ease the anxiety that comes with training in front of new people.
** *checks article* ** “So, uh, are you training later?”
3. DON’T DROP OFF YOUR GIRLFRIEND TO GIRL TRICKERS LIKE WE’RE BABYSITTERS.
If your girl has a genuine interest in tricking, that is incredible! However, I’ve been put in this position one too many times: a guy friend comes to the session, introduces me to his girl, says she’s just learning to trick… and then he walks away, leaving me and her awkwardly staring at each other.
Instead, introduce me to your girlfriend to see if there’s good chemistry for a coach-student relationship. There are many factors in finding the perfect coach, but mutual gender isn’t necessarily one of them. If the vibe is right, we can definitely talk about availability for private lessons in the future because I don’t plan on putting aside that day’s training agenda for an impromptu coaching session. Although I personally love teaching and growing my community, I don’t love being pulled out of the zone to “babysit” someone I just met.
4. DON’T ASSUME GIRLS WANT TO GIVE YOU MASSAGES.
I hope this happens much less in 2022, but in the past I’ve run into it more often than I’d like. Tricking is a sweaty sport, and it’s kinda gross for an acquaintance to ask you for a massage. No thanks!
Instead, bring a foam roller, lacrosse ball, or massage gun with you to the session. And there tends to be many massage tools floating around at gatherings/sessions if you need to borrow one. You can also schedule a healing session at the Euphoria XI Healing Center! 😉
5. DON’T BE OUR FRIENDS OUT OF CONVENIENCE.
There’s nothing like that gathering high where everyone feels like family. However, I’ve been to several gatherings with the squad where another group arrives and acknowledges all my male friends, but walks away before they get to me. Usually, the same person who had ignored me earlier will acknowledge me later around a group of mutual friends, after the session, or if they’d like to come to a Euphoria Gathering.
Instead, make a good first impression! This is similar to the first tip, where you shouldn’t judge a book by its cover. It’s hard to forget an awkward interaction with someone, so it’s better to be straightforward from the beginning or introduce yourself later as damage control. Trickers are well-connected with each other, so remember to keep that same energy across the board.
Just treat homies like homies, regardless of gender. :)
6. DON’T DO CREEPY THINGS!
Have you ever walked into a room and heard a conversation end, and the people just glare at you? Have you ever been stared at for too long post-conversation? Have you ever gotten weird DM’s from someone making up interactions that never happened? Have you ever felt someone staring at you, only to awkwardly lock eyes with them from across the gym? Have you ever been followed around at a gathering?
All of these scenarios are uncomfortably true to my experience in tricking. It’s human nature to look at and be attracted to one another, but it is our choice to decide on the actions we take.
Instead of staring and giving a ton of (maybe unwanted) attention to a girl tricker, try being more self-aware. Take a step back and ask yourself, “If I were in her shoes right now, would this make me feel weird?” Try your best to stay in the present moment so that you can hold yourself accountable. If your friends are doing something weird, pull them aside and let them know. And it’s okay to admire someone—just don’t follow them around at gatherings.
EXTRA PRO TIP: Look at a person in the eyes, not at their body, when you’re having a conversation.
If you suspect you are guilty of any of these actions, that really is okay—we’re all human! Embarrassing or awkward moments happen to everyone, and the goal is simply to learn from them. Be patient with yourself, and be willing to grow from the decisions you made when you didn’t know better.
While awkward interactions are inevitable, trickers are a lot more alike than you might think. You can make some amazing, lifelong friendships in this sport by letting go of that social anxiety and just being yourself. If you’re still unsure about what to say to a girl tricker, start by asking yourself, “If I said this to a dude, would that make it weird?”
And if you’re a guy trying to shoot your shot with a girl tricker, remember that everyone is different, and there is no set formula for success. You won’t know until you try, but just be a kind, respectful human if you do go for it. Remember that if she doesn’t return your feelings, that doesn’t make her a bad person. Some girls may be triggered, while others may be open to it. My advice is to become friends first, and follow your heart. The more you get to know someone, the more you can gauge the appropriate action to take.
I really hope these tips are helpful. Thank you for reading, and happy tricking! 😄
Gaby Macias is a co-founder of Euphoria Tricking and has proudly represented the DMV Trickers since its early beginnings. She’s been tricking since 2005 and has been to so many gatherings that she lost count sometime around 2015. With her genuine love for tricking, she hopes to spread good vibes and create an inclusive environment in tricking. Follow her on Instagram at @gabymacias and @euphoriatricking.